What The Hell?
by dimweepersxstrikexagain
Summary: Two OC's are pulled in Soul Eater! NOT A SELF INSERT OR MARY SUE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! Follow Tiggit and Mairead as they laugh, cry and beat up some bad guys with all your favourite characters! Suggestions welcome.
1. Chapter 1

**Dim: Heyyyy, I'm Dim. I'm a Dim Weeper, that's the nickname given to our division of Reapers. We control your educational fate so BE WARNED.**

**Dumb: I'm Dumb. I like chocolate. :) **

**Damn:…idiot…I'm Damn. The oldest Dim Weeper, I'm in charge of these two dipsticks and it's a full time job! **

**Dim: Come on Damn, be nice.**

**Dumb: HEY! I REPRESENT THAT COMMENT!**

**Dim: Um…Don't you mean resent…?**

**Dumb: Chocolate milkshake :) **

**Dim: …**

**Damn: …**

**Dim: Anyway… all flames will be used to torch the Kishin**

**Damn: And no, we don't own Soul Eater.**

**Dumb: I like cookies too :)**

**Damn: Right…well…whatever. Enjoy or something. **

**PROLOGUE**

Transported To Death City?

_Death City, Nevada_

Stein crouched over the butterfly he had pinned to the board. He smiled creepily at it. _Oooh I'm gonna enjoy dissectin' you! _He thought to himself. He lifted the scalpel. He began to lower it. Lower…and lower…and lower…almost there… 'STEIN!' Spirit yelled from somewhere to his left. 'Damn.' Stein growled, putting the scalpel carefully back into his pocket. 'So close.'

_London, England_

'CAOIMHE! GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT TREE!' Mairead screamed in horror as her little sister hung upside out of the tree laughing like a maniac. 'Whyyyyyyy?' Caoimhe called back in a sing-song voice. 'BECAUSE! IF YOU FALL AND BREAK YOUR NECK I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE!' Mairead yelled. Caoimhe leapt down landing perfectly on all fours, much like a cat. 'Fine. Let's go for a walk!'

_Death City, Nevada_

Spirit stretched. 'Hey, Stein. Wanna go for a walk?' Stein sighed and fixed his former partner with an icy glare, 'No, but then neither do you. You just want to stalk that girl you saw yesterday.' Spirit looked offended. 'I do not stalk! I follow with intent!'

'Sure. Whatever you say.'

'It's true!'

'Riiiight'

'I swear!'

'Okay Spirit, and I will run around handing out lollipops, and Maka won't hate you.'

'Really?'

'No.' Stein sighed. 'Come on then you idiot, let's get this over with.'

'YESSAI!' Spirit ran after him.

_London, England_

Caoimhe chased after the pigeons as they flew away, squawking in terror. 'Filthy, asymmetrical beasts!' She hissed, walking back over to her sister. Mairead sighed, 'Really? You hate the pigeons now too?'

'It's not my fault that they defy all sense!'

'No, that's just you Caoimhe'

'But they were standing in a completely asymmetrical way!'

'Of course Caoimhe, of course…'

Caoimhe wasn't listening anymore. She was laughing and pointing over to the right. 'Hey look! A hobo!' She stopped laughing suddenly and narrowed her eyes. 'He only has one glove on. How disgusting.' She advanced on the unsuspecting hobo. Mairead ran after her, 'Leave him alone Caoimhe! He's just a hobo!'

The hobo looked up. 'I am not just any old hobo! I am a MAGICAL HOBO!'

Mairead sweat dropped. 'Great, he's loopy as well.' The hobo ignored her and shouted 'ABRACADABRA!' at the top of his voice. There was a flash of light and then everything went black…

_Death City, Nevada_

Stein stood in a shady patch near a copse of trees, sheltering from the burning sun. Spirit on the other hand, was drooling over a nearby group of girls. Stein rolled his eyes, 'I knew you would do this.'

'Do what?' Spirit asked absentmindedly.

'This.'

'What am I doing?'

'Slavering.'

'I am not!' Spirit whined. Stein raised one eyebrow, 'Really?'

'Okay, well maybe I am a little' Spirit huffed.

'Spirit, you're standing in a puddle.'

'Fair point. You win this round Stein. Now, though…back to Shibusen!' They began walking back towards the centre of the city. Stein stopped suddenly. He turned to Spirit, 'You feel that?' Spirit looked at him confused. 'Feel what?' Stein frowned and twisted the screw stuck through his head. 'Two new souls just entered Death City.'

Spirit looked blank, 'Well that's nothing new.' Stein was staring past him, 'No, but then they don't usually fall from the sky do they?'

'Huh.' Spirit nodded. 'Suppose not. Where abouts?' Stein started to run.

'Oh, that way.' Spirit sighed and began to run after him.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER ONE**

Who The Hell Are You?

Caoimhe sat up and rubbed her head. 'Owwww. That hurt! Asymmetrical bastard.' She looked down to see that she was currently sitting on Mairead who (for reasons unknown) appeared to be asleep. The sound of approaching footsteps shook her from her cursing of the hobo and she looked around to see two figures rapidly heading towards them. She decided to lie down and pretend to be sleeping until she knew if they were a threat or not. She heard an out of breath voice calling, it sounded vaguely familiar but she couldn't think where she had heard it before. The voice was closer now and she could make out words. It said, 'There's no use pretending to be asleep so you may as well sit up.' Caoimhe sat up, looked at the strangers then pinched herself, hard. One of the strangers looked at her strangely, 'What are you doing?' He asked. Caoimhe's mouth dropped open as she looked up at the person who had appeared in front of her. She pinched herself again, harder. 'I'm dreaming….I'm dreaming…I'm dreaming…' She muttered under her breath to herself. The other person stepped forward. 'I can assure you that you aren't dreaming, whoever you may be' an icy voice answered her. She narrowed her eyes and pricked her ears forward. 'Now don't take that…wait.' _Pricked her ears forward?_ She raised her hands to her head and screamed before fainting in a heap. Spirit looked at Stein, 'Freakin' Neko kids, they're all weird.' Caoimhe sat up. 'I HEARD THAT!' Stein looked around, 'I thought you fainted.' Caoimhe glared at him, 'Hey you ever tried fainting on your big sister? It's not comfortable!' She grinned and stood up, only to fall forward and promptly attach herself to Spirit's leg. 'YESSAI! I'm in Soul Eater! I guess that hobo had something going for him after all!' She laughed. Spirit clasped his hands together and grinned inanely, 'Yay! I have fans!' He was interrupted by a groan from Mairead, still lying face down on the floor. She muttered something unintelligible and rolled over to face her sister. Her eyes widened and she blinked slowly. 'Good Morning.' She said yawning. 'Caoimhe, get the hell off that guy's leg.'

'But it's Spirit!'

'Like hell, that's only in Soul Eater.'

'But it is! Look Stein's here too!'

'Of course they ar…Oh.'

Stein looked over, 'That's basically what she said too.' Gesturing toward Caoimhe.

'Well, whoever you are, you look so much like this guy Stein.'

'I am Stein.'

'Like hell.'

'I really am though.'

'Right well, I'm going back to sleep, so later.'

'Alright…then…?' Stein replied confused. Mairead then went back to her previous state of being dead to the world. Spirit and Stein stared blankly for a moment before she suddenly jumped into the air screaming 'WHY IS MY SISTER A CAT!'

'Technically, it's neko…' Started Spirit

'TECHNICALLY, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! SOMEONE HAD BETTER START EXPLAINING!' Mairead yelled.

'Actually, it's you who should be explaining.' Stated the still-calm Stein. Mairead muttered something about mad hobos and scientists who should keep their nose out of unexplained magical transformations that just happen for no apparent reason. Stein blinked. 'I want to dissect you now.' He said turning to Caoimhe and pulling out his trusty scalpel.

'NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!' Mairead rose up in a blaze of tired fury brandishing her own scalpel which had appeared from no where in particular. She looked at it funny, 'Where the hell did that come from?'

Stein blinked again. 'I have no idea.'

Spirit groaned, 'Not another one…' He was interrupted by a growl from Caoimhe. 'Stein's face is completely asymmetrical!' Spirit grinned. 'You remind me of someone.' Caoimhe smiled, 'I think I know who.' Mairead and Stein faced each other, scalpels at the ready. They circled slowly, searching for an opening. Caoimhe walked into the middle and sighed. 'Pack it in you two. You're making me dizzy.' Stein ignored her. Mairead stopped immediately. Caoimhe sighed again, 'I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this but…' Mairead started backing away. 'PINEAPPLE SMASH!' Caoimhe swung her arm and Stein collapsed. The large pineapple that had hit him bounced off. Spirit looked on in shock. Caoimhe grinned, 'There we are, all done! Can we go to Shibusen now?' Spirit nodded mutely and turned to lead the way.

_Death Room, Death Weapon Meister Academy_

Caoimhe immediately glued herself to Lord Death's robes. His mask had a slightly shocked look to it, having been glomped by a random neko girl. She snuggled into him further. Lord Death patted her awkwardly on the back with one massive hand as her tail wrapped itself around his waist. Spirit stood in a corner sniggering, while Stein stayed far away from Caoimhe over by the guillotines. Mairead, unsurprisingly, was asleep. Caoimhe dislodged herself from Lord Death as a voice called down the corridor. 'Father, I came as quickly as I-' He was stopped by a squeal as he was glomped by Caoimhe. He stepped backwards, falling onto the polished floor. 'What the…Father! Who is this?' Lord Death shrugged, 'We don't know, Stein and Spirit found them. However, the neko seems to have taken a liking to you. Have fun!' He waved cheerily and bounced to the back of the room. Caoimhe glared after him and yelled 'OI! NEKO GIRL HAS A NAME YOU BIG CLOUD OF SPIKY…SPIKY…LIQUOURICE!' Death the Kid (as he was now revealed to be) looked down at her while Stein's eye twitched and he backed further away. Spirit burst out laughing only to be silenced by a Reaper Chop from Lord Death as he passed by. Mairead was still asleep. Kid struggled to get up from the floor with Caoimhe still latched firmly to his middle. She smiled, 'I can Reaper Chop too you know. Wanna see?' She leapt into the air, and flew down upon Spirit screaming 'REAPER CHOP!' Spirit crashed to the floor for the second time, a smoking dent in his head.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER TWO**

I'm A WHAT?

Lord Death bounced back over. 'Good shot! How old are you?' He asked. Caoimhe grinned at him and replied 'I'm 16 and that lazy thing over there is 29' Everyone glanced over to where Mairead was lying passed out on the floor. Caoimhe's eye twitched, she and Kid said simultaneously, 'So…asymmetrical…' They looked at each other and grinned before leaping over to Mairead and trying to straighten out her sleeping position. Lord Death ignored the constant calls of 'Left a bit…no bit more…move her arm…' and focused on Spirit. 'They make a great couple, don't they?' Spirit grinned, 'Yep.' Stein walked over. 'Its odd…they both seem to be exact counterparts of someone from the DWMA.' Lord Death looked at him, 'Oh?'

'It's pretty obvious that Caoimhe is the match for Kid, the symmetry, the fact that she's wearing a suit and her hair having Sanzu lines opposite to his. They complete each other.' Stein mused. Lord Death cocked his head, 'So then who is the other's match? Spirit piped up, 'Well there was that incident with the scalpels earlier… So I'm guessing Stein's her match.' Lord Death muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like god forbid… Stein cleared his throat. 'Another thing, since Kid and myself are both Meisters, if they truly are opposites, they should also be weapons. The fact that they are both female and around the same age supports this.' Lord Death nodded. 'Well since you're both without weapons at the minute, since Kid has successfully created DeathScythes from Liz and Patty and Spirit's my personal DeathScythe…why don't you team up? Your soul wavelengths should be compatible.' Stein started to object but was silenced by a Reaper Chop. At that moment Death the Kid and Caoimhe strolled up, having arranged Mairead to their satisfaction. 'Hey, hey, hiya, wassssuuupp?' Lord Death greeted them. Caoimhe looked up at them, 'I heard my name.' Lord Death straightened up, 'Yes, we were just discussing you!' Caoimhe pricked her ears again. 'And?' She asked. Lord Death had obviously never heard the term 'break it to them gently', 'You're both weapons!' He announced, bouncing around. Caoimhe fainted. Then sprang back up immediately. 'I'm a WHAT?' She exclaimed. 'A weapon.' Repeated Lord Death cheerily. Caoimhe stared at him as Death the Kid sighed. 'Father, have you never heard the phrase 'break it to them gently'?' Lord Death looked puzzled, 'the what now Kid?'

'As I thought.' Muttered Kid under his breath. Spirit stepped forward hesitantly, 'You know, someone should probably wake up the other one…' He was immediately fixed with a death glare from the younger sister. 'Mairead has a name you know.' She hissed. Spirit ignored her. 'Hey, Stein!' he called. 'The lazy one really does remind me of you. You'd sleep all day if anyone would let you!' he chuckled. Lord Death grinned beneath his mask as he pushed Stein forwards. 'Go on then, you can wake her up!' He said in his bizarrely cheery voice. The scientist groaned, 'Why me?'

'She's your counterpart, that's why.' Replied Spirit. Stein glared at him fiercely before wandering over to Mairead and tapping her on the shoulder. Nothing happened for a moment until she reached up and grabbed him, hugging him round the middle tightly. Still fast asleep. Lord Death sighed as he watched Stein try to extricate himself without any luck. 'Caoimhe…If you wouldn't mind…?' He asked. Caoimhe nodded and headed over, bending to whisper something in Mairead's ear. Whatever it was made Mairead shoot bolt upright shrieking 'Where is the bitch! I'll dissect her!' Everyone sweat dropped. 'No doubt about it.' Said Lord Death, 'She's definitely Stein's.'

Stein having managed to stand up, started pushing Mairead towards the group conversation. 'Come on.' He moaned. Caoimhe turned to her sister, grabbed her shoulder and yelled 'WE'RE WEAPONS!' right in her sister's ear. Mairead blinked. 'Great, what type?' She asked, getting straight down to business. Lord Death shrugged his black shoulders, (if he even has shoulders). 'We don't know! You'll have to transform.' He answered. The sisters looked at him blankly. 'And just how do we do that?' they said as one. Spirit stepped in, looking smug and superior. 'Just imagine yourself as a weapon. The first thing that comes into your head is likely to be your weapon's form. Then imagine yourself being that weapon.' Mairead nodded, 'Seems simple enough. Okay Caoimhe, you go first.' Caoimhe closed her eyes, concentrating hard. Blue light enveloped her and grew brighter before fading away. Where she had stood, lay two identical twin daggers connected by a thin, black chain. They were each a foot long with white skull motifs on the hilts and the blades shone a deep black colour. Death the Kid almost cried. 'So…symmetrical…' The light flashed again and Caoimhe was once again standing before them. 'How was that?' She asked, embarrassed. 'Perfect.' Said Spirit, 'You're gonna make a strong weapon.' Caoimhe turned to her sister. 'Now you.' She said. Mairead swallowed hard and turned to Stein. 'Stein…will you hold my hand?' She held it out towards him. Stein looked shocked at the idea but Spirit nudged him forward. 'Fine' Stein finally agreed. He took her hand and waited. This time a white light flashed and when it faded, Mairead was gone. Stein looked down at his arm. A long grey blade was attached around his wrist by a metal band, curving over his shoulder and coming to a wicked point. A smaller blade extended down his forearm to his hand, ending just above his knuckles. Stein cocked his head, 'Interesting weapon.' He mused. 'Should work well.' Mairead transformed back, she looked at him lifting her eyebrows. 'Was that a compliment I heard _Professor_?' Stein hunched his shoulders and growled, turning his back on her. 'Maybe.' Mairead smiled, 'Nice to see we're getting along so well.'


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER THREE**

Hey, We're Roomies.

Lord Death cleared his throat. 'We currently have a few places left in Shibusen so you're welcome to enrol though we have a slight problem at the moment.'

'What's that?' asked Caoimhe. 'The dormitories are full so there's nowhere in the DWMA for you to stay.' Replied Lord Death.

'I don't see how that's a problem.' Commented Kid. 'Weapons can stay with their respective meisters.'

Mairead interrupted, 'We don't have meisters though Kid.'

'Actually, we were discussing that earlier, while you were asleep Mairead.' Lord Death said airily. The older sister blushed. 'You two seem to be alternate versions of two meisters at the academy. Caoimhe matches Kid perfectly and we think that Stein might be your counterpart. As you're similar in so many ways, your soul wavelengths should be compatible. Add to this the fact that both Kid and Stein are weaponless, I have decided you should partner up.'

Caoimhe grinned as something dawned on her. 'So…I get to stay at Gallows mansion? And Mairead stays in the Patchwork lab with Stein?'

'Correct.'

'…awesome…'

Stein narrowed his eyes. 'How do you know the name of my lab?' Mairead and Caoimhe turned to him and tapped their noses knowingly. 'You lot are pretty famous in our world.' Lord Death tilted his head to the left, 'Your world? So you're not from this world then?' Caoimhe shook her head. 'No, ever heard of something called the fourth wall?' Mairead smacked her sister's head hissing 'Sssshhh!' She looked at Lord Death. 'We're from an…alternate universe…you lot are…um…'

'um…?' Enquired Spirit.

'You lot are from an …em…'

'We're waiting'

Caoimhe butted in, 'You're characters in an anime tv show called Soul Eater. We pretty much know your future.' Mairead smacked her forehead. 'Idiot.'

Death the Kid reeled backwards. 'A…tv…show…?' Caoimhe nodded, 'Yeah. Don't worry Kid you achieve perfect symmetry…one day…' Mairead by this point was dragging her hands down her face in despair. 'I think becoming neko messed up what little brains you had left…' Caoimhe turned to her sister and declared 'I'll have you know I'm in second top set!' Mairead grinned, 'Remind me…Who's in top again?' Caoimhe drew back her fist. Mairead's eyes widened as she backed away.

'PINEAPPLE SMASH!'

Smoke rose up from a crater in the ground where Mairead had been standing. Spirit snickered. Caoimhe turned to him. 'Watch it.' She said warningly. Mairead came out from behind Stein where she had run to the instant she sensed danger. Caoimhe looked at her in disgust. 'Asymmetrical coward.' Kid smiled absently as he latched himself on Caoimhe's arm. 'Ahhh, symmetry.' Stein raised one eyebrow as he looked at the pair. Then realised Mairead was clinging to his own arm. He looked at her instead. She muttered, 'What I wouldn't give to dissect him…' Stein grinned, 'What I wouldn't give to dissect HER. Or him I suppose. Or you…' Mairead looked at him. 'Not if I dissect you first.' Stein pointed to the scar on his face. 'Beat you to it.' Mairead smirked, 'Doesn't mean I can't do it again…' Lord Death and Spirit looked slightly freaked. Lord Death addressed them again. 'Right…well…em…Kid if you wouldn't mind escorting Caoimhe to Gallows Mansion and Stein…can you sort Mairead?' Kid and Stein nodded as they turned to leave. Lord Death called after them, 'Oh and Stein? Don't dissect anything on the way back, okay?' There was no reply.

_Gallows Mansion, Death City_

'Woah…IT'S FREAKING GIANT!' Screamed Caoimhe. Kid glanced at her amused. 'I suppose it is pretty big, and symmetrical…'Caoimhe grinned and hugged his middle. 'I'm a huggy sort of person by the way, did you notice?'

Kid smiled 'Just a little.' He opened the door. The hallway was dark and imposing, lit only by candles mounted at regular intervals along the walls. The floor was tiled and the air was cold. Caoimhe didn't seem to notice, or perhaps she didn't really care. She skipped over to the grand piano that stood in the centre of the hall between two curving staircases. 'Do you play?' She asked, looking up at Kid.

'I used to, but I haven't in a while.' He replied, sitting beside her on the stool.

'Why not?'

'I haven't the time.'

'You have time now.'

_Patchwork Lab, Death City_

'Woah…IT'S FREAKING STITCHED!' Screamed Mairead. Stein glanced at her. 'Um…yeah…I suppose it is really.' Mairead looked at him in awe. 'How the hell did you stitch concrete?' Stein tapped his nose knowingly. 'That's for me to know and you to wonder.'

Mairead growled. '…bitch…' Stein blinked. 'What?'

Mairead ignored him and walked up to the door. 'You coming?' Ste tapped her foot impatiently. Stein stared at her. 'But wait! It's my lab. You have to wait for me!'

Mairead rolled her eyes, 'I AM waiting. Hurry UP!' Stein shook his head and opened the door. Inside was cold and clinical. Almost like a hospital. Mairead grinned. 'I hear you're notorious for lack of cups.'

Stein looked back at her smirking, 'Why? Have a problem with that?'

Mairead looked blank. 'No, never really seen much need for them.' Stein clapped his hands together and said 'I think we'll get on fine.'

'Indeed. Now, where do I sleep? I'm exhausted.'

_Death Room, DWMA_

'Do you think Mairead will be alright? I'm slightly concerned after what he did to you for five years Spirit.' Lord Death asked. Spirit looked at his meister darkly, 'She'll not last five minutes.'

'I hope you're wrong Spirit. I really hope you're wrong… Lets check on Caoimhe.'

The image on the mirror blurred before refocusing to show an image of the main hall in Gallows Mansion. The first thing that struck him was the soft sound of _fur elise _ drifting through the mirror. He peered through the gloom, and saw two figures sitting side by side on the piano stool. Fingers flickered over the ivory keys, and lord death realized that it was Kid playing the tune. He looked at Caoimhe, gazing up at the young shinigami, and sighed a little. It had been so long since that piano had been played, and he had forgotten how nice the melancholy notes sounded. he himself was never at the mansion anymore, and Kid usually took things far too seriously. He smiled beneath his mask. _Maybe this Neko girl will do him more good that Liz and Patty…_

_Gallows mansion, death city_

_Kid POV_

Kid held the last note a little longer than necessary. As the sound faded away, he turned his head to look at his new weapon, and was surprised to find that she had fallen asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. A smile played at the corners of his mouth as she sighed in her sleep, probably dreaming. He stood up carefully, and carried her bridal style to the door nestled in the alcove between the two sweeping staircases. He shuffled her a little to free one hand, opening the door to a large chamber with a four poster bed. He pulled back the covers and placed her between the sheets, glancing at the dark sky through the window. _What a strange day. _He thought to himself.

_Patchwork Lab, Death City_

_Stein POV_

He was currently sitting on his stitched up chair, staring at her from across the room. She was flat out asleep again. On his sofa. He wasn't particularly bothered but it was strange having company again after so long. Spirit had been the last to stay here and he had been NOTHING like this Mairead character who had apparently fallen from the sky. He frowned, blowing a smoke skull from the cigarette currently located in his left hand. _At least she didn't complain about that_ he thought, lips stretching intro a wry smile. Maybe they would get along. For now though, he really was rather intrigued as to whether or not someone from a different world looked the same inside. He really should investigate…as a scientist…

THE NEXT MORNING…

Caoimhe pulled herself along sleepily, yawning and stretching. The morning was crisp and bright, and the DWMA loomed over other tried to keep up with Death the Kid as he strode up the steps, hands shoved in his pockets. She was panting when she reached the top, and she still had to climb three more flights of stairs to get to steins lecture room. 'come on! You don't want to be late for your first class!' Kid called brightly

Caoimhe glared at him halfheartedly. 'you were three hours late for your first class…' she muttered, twitching her black tail in agitation. She re-adjusted her new black and white school bag on her shoulder and smoothed down her suit, pulling out a small hand mirror to check on her short, boyish hair, re-arranging her bangs to look like Kids. She looked almost like a mirror image, as on first glance, it was difficult to tell if she was male or female. _ At least I'm not flat chest-ed like that bitch Maka_

She thought. She sighed, put the mirror back in her pocket and started on the next set of stairs. _If I'm having trouble, Mairead will be sod…_

_Three flights of stairs later…_

Caoimhe flopped next to kid, who was waiting patiently outside the lecture room. She was gasping and he was hardly even out of breath! After a few moments, she straightened up, nodded to Kid to show that she was alright, and stepped into the lecture room, hiding behind him. He chuckled to himself and her face reddened. She stepped out from behind him and gazed around as the students burst out in exited babble, chittering and pointing to her. She scooted behind Kid again, her ears flat and her tail between her legs. He placed a hand on her arm, and smiled at her.

A loud voice boomed above the talk of the students.

'HEY KID LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT YOURSELF A GIRLFRIEND, EVEN THOUGH SHE LOOKS LIKE A BOY! YAHOO!'

The students fell into shocked silence. Caoimhe stepped out from behind Kid again, all nervousness gone from her mind. Every movement betrayed seething anger. Kid watched her carefully as she scanned the crowd, searching for the speaker, her cat like gaze finally falling on a boy with a shock of blue hair, standing triumphantly on the desk. She took a deep breath…

'PINEAPPLE SMASH!' she screamed, leaping from desk to desk as the boys eyes widened, pulling back her fist as she did glared at the boy, and just before she let loose her attack, she pulled a very rude one-fingered salute.

SMASH

As she stood victoriously, the sound of slow clapping echoed through the silence. She turned slowly to see Stein and Mairead standing at the desk at the front of the room. She grinned and bowed. Stein let his hands drop to his sides again as the class erupted into a round of applause. Caoimhe straightened from her bow and her eyes widened as her gaze fell upon her sister. 'Oh god no.'

EARLIER THAT MORNING

Mairead rolled over and fell off the sofa, smashing the damn alarm clock in the process. Stein, who happened to just be entering the room raised one eyebrow as Mairead tried to untangle herself from the blanket, eventually electing to rip through the thing. She had a major headache for no apparent reason and the right side of her face hurt like crazy. She figured it was a side effect of hitting the floor. Stein handed her a mug of coffee. She wrinkled up her nose and said 'What's this?' Stein raised the other eyebrow. 'Coffee.'

'Coffee?'

'Yes, coffee.'

'Like, coffee coffee?'

'Yes damn it! It's coffee.'

'It's not tea?'

'No.'

'Really?'

'Shut up Mairead.'

'Okay then.' She shrugged and downed it. She somehow made it across the room to the mirror and began applying make up. Stein began edging away. Suddenly. Mairead stopped. 'Wait just one damn moment!'

Stein froze.

'Something's strange…'

Stein started to back away faster.

'Hmm….'

He was almost at the door…

'AHAH! I've only got eyeliner on one eye.' Mairead hummed to herself as she applied eyeliner to the other eye. 'Caoimhe would have a fit.'

Stein almost fainted in relief. For some reason he was more afraid of this girl and her sister than the kishin. Mairead looked over. 'Shouldn't we be going?'

Stein glanced at the clock. 'Damn…yes.' Mairead frowned. 'Come on then!' She ran out of the lab only to come back for her bag. Stein just followed sighing.

THE CLASS

Mairead noticed her sister staring at her. 'What?' She gasped 'Is my makeup _asymmetrical _again?' Caoimhe shook her head mutely.

'Then what?' Enquired Mairead. Caoimhe whipped out the compact and jumped down the desks and shoved it in her sister's face. Mairead's eyes widened, then narrowed menacingly as she traced the long scar across her face and fingered the screw now located above her ear. She turned to Stein, who immediately began backing away faster than he had ever done before. Mairead advanced. 'You wouldn't happen to know anything about THIS would you?' She asked sweetly. Stein backed away faster. Caoimhe whispered to Kid, 'He's dead.' Kid nodded, 'I believe you.' They wandered over to their desks and sat down to watch along with the rest of the students. Stein, meanwhile, was searching for some sort of escape route. Mairead, was still advancing, smiling in a slightly sadistic way. She nicked a scalpel off his desk as she passed and continued towards him. Stein looked over his shoulder at Caoimhe and mouthed 'Please help me!' Caoimhe smiled innocently…and shook her head. Stein's face was a picture. Caoimhe giggled and stood up, she walked over and stood between the two. 'Don't make me use Pineapple Smash.' Some of the students began to back away. Mairead looked at her sister. 'Don't interfere.' She hissed. Caoimhe sighed. 'Oh well I warned you…' Mairead quickly interjected, 'Besides, look. I'm asymmetrical now.' Caoimhe's eyes widened. 'You're right. How disgusting.'. She turned to face Stein. 'You've ruined my sister's symmetry…' Kid lept up from his desk. 'Ultimate crime!' he cried, joining the two sisters , closing in on the panicking professer. At the same moment, he was slammed into the wall by three separate attacks.

-'SHINIGAMI SHADOW SKULL ARMS!'

-'PINEAPPLE SMASH!'

-'TAKE THAT, SCUM!'

The scalpel narrowly missed his head as he slid down the brickwork.

Mairead took a moment to compose herself, then turned to the class calmly.

'Kid, Tiggit, return to your seats please. As for the rest of you' she glared at the class, saving a special venomous look for Maka. The class winced as one. ' I believe you have some studying to do.'

Kid turned to Caoimhe in confusion. 'Tiggit?' He asked. Caoimhe shrugged, 'Meh, old nickname. Actually…could you just introduce me as Tiggit? I prefer it, the name is symmetrical.' Kid pondered this. 'So it is. Spelt the same backwards as forwards. Genius!' They returned to their desks. Black*Star had finally crawled out of the hole he had been pounded into and was giving Caoimhe (or should we say Tiggit) wary looks. Tiggit smiled at him pleasantly. He winced. Maka waved her hand in the air, narrowly missing Soul who just managed to dodge much to the amusement of Tiggit. 'Yes?' Asked Mairead (who had commandeered the downed professors chair).

'Who are you? And why are you taking class? And who's the guy sitting next to Kid?' Asked Maka at top speed. She was interrupted by Tiggit shrieking at full volume 'DIDN'T THE BLUE HAIRED FREAK ALREADY MENTION I'M FEMALE!' Maka shrank, 'Sorry!' she called. Mairead rolled her eyes. 'As for your earlier questions, I'm Mairead, Professor Stein's new weapon partner, I'm taking the class because he's…unable…to at the present moment. I am also Caoim-um.._Tiggit's_ older sister. Anymore questions?' There was silence in the room. 'No? Good. I'm going to take Stein to the Infirmary, Kid will be in charge as he is the next highest ranking class member.' Maka complained 'But I'M the top student!' Mairead's eyes flashed dangerously. 'And he's a GRIM REAPER. Now, Kid, I'll leave this lot to you.' With that she exited the room, dragging Stein behind her. Tiggit stood and cracked her knuckles, 'YOU HEARD THE LADY! DO SOME STUDYING!' Black*Star cringed and whipped out a random textbook. Kid stepped to the front of the class, followed by his new weapon. 'Right, I have no idea what to do so…any questions?'


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Why I Hate You

_Infirmary, DWMA_

Stein came to as he was being dragged down a corridor by his collar. He blinked, trying to remember how he had got there. One minute he was in class…Oh…THAT'S how… He looked up to see Mairead pulling him. He looked back down quickly. Mairead chucked him on one of the hospital beds. 'Stay there.' She said stiffly. Stein decided that for now, he should just sit quietly. Mairead turned to leave, he grabbed her sleeve. She looked down, 'What?' Stein let go of her coat and looked away. 'I'm sorry.' He muttered. He felt arms around his shoulders and was surprised to feel Mairead hugging him. She smiled at him, 'That's okay. We probably shouldn't have kicked your ass either. Now.' She said, suddenly businesslike. 'Let's fix that cut.'

_Class Crescent Moon, DWMA_

Kid sighed and explained for the millionth time YES he could see in the dark, NO he didn't like rabbits and OF COURSE he'd one day take over from his father. The bell rang. He stood up stretching. _FINALLY! _

He turned to make sure Tiggit was following him as he turned down the corridor towards the mission board. She jogged over, puzzled. 'A mission?' she asked 'but I have no training yet!'

Kid turned and walked off to look at the board carefully. 'I know. You can consider this mission as your first training session. I'm picking an easy one for you.'

Tiggit followed him, pushing past a noisy group of students.

'But what if I'm rubbish?' she mumbled, her head bowed. Kid sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder. 'Don't worry about it. The point of this is to improve. It'll be difficult at first, but you'll get the hang of it once we're there.' He showed her the mission card he had taken from the bottom of the board.

' we're going with…MAKA?'

'I thought it would be easier if you had another team to learn fro-'

'yes, but just not HER!' growled Tiggit, swishing her tail. Maka suddenly appeared behind them.

'Speak of the devil…'

_Death Room, DWMA_

Spirit was lying on the floor in a heap, splitting his sides at the scene of Stein being jumped on by two enraged girls and a shinigami. He had been watching this replayed for the last hour and was showing no signs of stopping. _Yes._ He thought. _This is a keeper._

_Infirmary, DWMA_

Stein was bored. Usually, when he was bored he would find something to dissect but…considering the results of his last experiment…he'd rather not risk it. He fiddled with the medicine bottles aimlessly. He hummed. He tapped on the bed. He flicked his glasses. He fell on the floor and started crying, purely for something to do. It was at this point Mairead walked back in, she stared at him. _THIS is the DWMA's greatest meister?_ She thought. _Good God. We're screwed. Literally, in our case._ Stein chose this moment to sit up. 'Ah. Hiya.'

'Hey Stein.'

'So…'

'Mmhmm.'

'Let's never mention this again.'

'Agreed.' They headed to the next class.

_Fourth Floor Corridor, Mission Board, DWMA_

Tiggit glared at the scythe-meister and turned her back. Maka looked confused. 'Hey. What's wrong with her?' She asked Kid. Kid shrugged. 'I've noticed that her and her sister have some sort of aversion to you Maka.' Maka looked shocked. 'But why?' Tiggit turned around. 'Because…YOU'RE SO DAMN MEAN TO SPIRIT! SERIOUSLY!'

Maka looked blank. 'Oh, him.'

'YES HIM! THERE WE ARE. OFF AGAIN!'

Maka looked slightly worried as Tiggit continued her rant.

'EVERY DAY AND EVERY NIGHT HE WORRIES ABOUT YOU. DO YOU CARE? NOOOOOOOOO! UNGRATEFUL…' She tailed off into unintelligible muttering and venomous glares. Maka folded her arms. 'He cheated on my Mama with every woman that walked past him!' Tiggit shook her by the shoulders.

'I'M WELL AWARE OF HIS FAULTS! HE LOVES YOU…YOU…ABSOLOUTE…TWAT!' With that she stormed off in tears leaving Kid and Maka staring after her. Kid turned to Maka. 'She has a point you know. You should talk to him more often.' Maka huffed and turned away. 'Fine! You can do that mission on your OWN!' Kid secretly flipped her off inside his pocket. With both hands of course, symmetry at all times. Maka stomped off. Kid headed after Tiggit.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER FIVE**

I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass!

Kid wandered along a deserted corridor, following the sounds of sobbing. He turned a corner, and the sound grew louder. He looked down at his weapon partner, slumped against the wall, her cat ears drooping and her tail wrapped around her ankles as she buried her face in her knees. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and looked up to see the golden eyed shinigami smiling at her. She sniffed and looked away.

'I'm sorry, that was out of order.' She apologized. Kid looked surprised.

'you don't have to apologize, Tiggit. As much as I like Maka as a friend, I do think that she's carried on with her sob story for far too long.'

He held ou his hand, and she took it gratefully, letting herself be pulled up from the floor. She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her smart suit.

She smiled at her mister, pulling him into a crushing gasped, caught off guard, but returned the hug. When they pulled apart, he brushed the hair out of her eyes and straightened her collar. She grinned at him.

'thanks. I needed that. But I still need to apologize to Maka. I wasn't being fair, and I probably didn't give a great first impression.'

_Later_

Maka was sitting on a bench near the death room, reading, unsurprisingly, when Kid came around the corner, closely followed by Tiggit. She frowned and turned away, sulking. She felt someone hugging her, and she turned to see tiggit looking at her sadly.

'I'm sorry, Maka, I didn't mean to burst out like that, I'm just not great with emotions!' she babbled 'I just feel so sorry for Spirit! I'm really sorry! Please can we be friends?'

Maka blinked.

'What?'

Tiggit let go of her and stepped back. 'please?'

Maka sighed, and then grinned. 'Alright.I'll do the Mission with you.I have to do it anyway.' Her smile turned to a frown. 'Or I'll be expelled! How did I end up with remedial classes?' she wailed.

As Tiggit tried to comfort her, Death the Kid grinned. He had only known Maka for a a number of weeks, and His eccentric weapon and her insane sister for two days, and he was already considering them the closest friends he had ever had. Maka was also one of the first friends he had ever had. His grin faded as he remembered the years of childhood he had spent alone in the Gallows, before he met Liz and Patty.

He remembered Tiggit's comment when she had first seen the mansion.

'_woah…ITS FREAKIN GIANT!' _ giant and empty…

Some people still recoiled, or screamed and ran when they saw him on the streets. Not in Death city of course, they all knew that he meant no harm here, but on missions and such. They feared Death. Hated it. Hated him…

'Kid?' a voice cut through his thoughts. He looked up to see Tiggit and Maka staring at him worriedly. He everyone hated him, then…

'come on, lets go get the Mission card, then off to italy.'

Delight spread across Tiggits face.

'_In Italia__su__uno skateboard__volante__!'_

Kid grinned at Maka's confused face, translating the Italian for her.

'_to italy on a flying skateboard.'_

_Patchwork Lab, Death City_

Mairead flopped onto the sofa. Stein stood randomly in the kitchen doing nothing in particular, staring at the wall. Mairead called to him. 'Steeeeeiiin?'

He sighed. 'Yes?'

'Where's the tv?'

'What tv?'

'Whaddya mean 'what tv'? You have a tv don't you?'

'Um…no. This is a lab. Why would I have a tv?'

'Good Lord you're messed up! What kind of person doesn't have a tv!'

'Me?'

'YOU..YOU…BIZARRE PERSON!'

Stein smiled slightly. 'Bizarre person? Understatement.'

'Quiet you! I'll call Caoimhe!'

'I don't have a phone.'

There was a loud crash. Stein looked over. Mairead was lying flat on the floor a look of shock on her face, unconscious.

'Finally, peace.' Stein returned to staring at the wall.

_Rome, Italy_

Kid watched from a rooftop as Maka and Soul collected the final soul that would complete their quota for this remedial lesson. He held Tiggit in her weapon form, by his sides loosely. She was complaining loudly. 'That building over there isn't symmetrical! I swear…one day…'

Kid looked over. 'I do believe you're right.' He shook his head. 'But now is not the time unfortunately. Maybe another time.' He suddenly stiffened.

'What is it?' asked Tiggit.

'I feel something. A strong soul.'

Maka looked up. 'I feel it too.' She turned her head to the large bell tower that dominated the skyline. Kid faced it too. Tiggit started singing.

'The bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, the BELLS OF NOTRE DAAAAAMMMMMEEEEEE!'

'PLEASE! DON'T SING! Also, we happen to be in Italy, not France.' Kid corrected her.

'Quiet you. You're ruining the moment.'

'You managed that yourself.'

'…Mairead would've joined in…'


End file.
